Thursday, October 26, 2006

All Cranked Up on Crank.

Being a movie hound, for what it's worth, here's my 7 favorite movies of 2006, tho the year's not over, maybe nothing could beat these. Near top of the heap is "8 Below", the huskies in Antarctica, which got my heart strings in a zing, but I give my highest accolades to the Aussie movie "10 Canoes" by Rolf De Heer and the Northern Territory Tribes, absolute consummate film-making, when the Aboriginal protagonist danced himself into his death at the end, my soul flew away with him.

Then there was "The Libertine" with Johnny Depp, an incisive treatise on sex and mores, and "The Departed" by Scorsese, (I've become a fan of Leonard Dicaprio all over again as he's truly intense, maybe the best actor on the planet at the moment), and "Children of Men" with Clive Owen, grungy futurism that had me on the edge of my seat. But yesterday I saw something that knocked me off my seat, "Crank", rock'n'roll, drug-fucked, the next new-wave splatter-fest, it leaves Tarantino way behind like a coked out geriatric, what a slammer of a movie, it rocked and gets 9 "Dings" on my schlockometer, funny, cool, exciting, gory, a ride to tighten your seat belt for, it has it all to satiate a jaded old punk like me. The last place is now given over to "Color Me Kubrick", so witty and entertaining, a nasty old poof passing himself off as a celebrity so he can bludge a living and get a root with all the stupid fame whores.

Tonight I'm off to see the latest Aussie offering, "Suburban Mayhem", which hopefully will join my list of 7 runner-ups, the first of which is a piece of real schlock, "The Hills Have Eyes", a Wes Craven remake but I liked the atomic mutants raping and murdering the happy campers, it confirmed my pessimism about our nuclear future. Other runner-ups would have to include "Good Night and Good Luck", "The Man Inside" and "Final Destination 3", I just cant fit them all in my obsessive top 7. Movies shmoovies, who gives a shit, but it's the art form I love and I make no apologies, I rush with the lemmings over the cliff for every schlockbuster, for me it's like an engrossing book, painting and music C.D. all wrapped in one, it's my drug and "Crank" particularly got me very, very high. Now I'll blow it out my arse, signing off, good night and good fuck.

P.S. ""Surburban Mayhem" was way cool, it gets 8 "Dings", Auz gets nasty and dangerous at last, what an evil little bitch "Katrina" was, the movie would have to have the best line of dialogue for the year, "you're the kind of girl a guy has to kill a dog just to get her to suck his cock!" When said dog got killed I was mighty pissed off, it fucked the movie for me, bad voodoo, but that's PUNK, there are no sacred cows, or dogs!