Sunday, March 19, 2006

The 7 Tenets of Toby Z.

 As one of the 30 million Bloggers on the WEB I certainly accept that I'm a dickhead, a narcissistic fuckwit, one meaningless blob amongst 7 billion striving human entities on this crazy planet Earth, and my thoughts carry little weight. But I never promised to be Jesus Christ, Albert Einstein or even William Burroughs, I'm just blogging to get shit off my pussy chest, another hobby to have fun with, writing gets my endorphins flowing, and in such a vast, alienating empty universe, it's somehow comforting to throw my potted crapulous thoughts out into the void, as if screaming aloud, "I exist, damn you for saying I shouldn't!"

And this brings me to the 7 Tenets I try to consider every time a fellow "human" approaches me. This bullshit  is what I'd like to live by if I only wasn't such a fuck-up. While I'm a deadbeat, cynical, nihilistic, cantankerous, pessimistic caterwauling alley-cat I know there's two sides to every phenomena, good as well as bad, so every one of my negative tenets has a golden flip-side. 

1) Everybody is a Wanker, so don't believe the bullshit/facade/spin that gets thrown at you. (Be honest, be cool, tell it how it is.)

2) Everybody is frightened, running scared of something, more scared of Life/Death than you. (So be brave, be your self, chase your dreams.)

3) Everybody is hung up on Sex. Sex often lurks somewhere in all transactions/processes. (Everyone is looking for/needs LOVE.)

4) Everybody worships Money more than any God. It is the ruling Religion on this planet. (Money is nothing, people/the living universe everything.)

5) Everybody is a sucker for Celebrity and Fame, the latest incarnation of authoritarian religion and thus everybody gives into Herd Mentality, rushing like Lemmings over the nearest cliff for any fad or fame whore's directive. (Think for yourself, seek out information, question, be your own trendsetter.)

6) Everybody makes an attempt at manipulation and one must suss out the hidden agendas of everyone you meet so as survive and flourish. Many are trying to make a living stripping the skin from your back. (Project compassion, try to help as many as possible. Live simply and for simple pleasures and, remember, there is no God.)

7) Nobody has the right line, on anything, not J.C., the Pope, the President, Mao, Marx or Andy Warhol, and especially not me, which makes this crap a paradox, but that's what the Universe is, a Chaos of clashing paradoxes. (Anything goes, do what thou will, just dont hurt anybody. Trust yourself, follow your heart and intuitions.)

I agree that I'm the biggest wanker of all, but as a self-confessed curmudgeon I try not to run bleating with the herd, I try to think for myself, not easy when "The Ministry of Misinformation" keeps all the facts locked in its vaults. Mostly it's a miracle to keep safe and wise in your apartment with a few friends as fellow denizens of the quiet, personal Utopia you've set up within.